The Parker Weekly

Volume CVIV, Issue 8 — “The Parker Weekly”

March 31, 2020

https://issuu.com/zacharyjoseph/docs/issueeightfinal2

Letter From The Editors, Issue 8 – Volume CVIV

The Parker Weekly

March 31, 2020

Happy April Fools, Parker! We have missed you all DEARLY throughout the past couple months. We hope you’re all staying healthy and hand-washed, and surviving the quarantine. :(( We’ve got some great content in this issue....

Top 5 Places To Poop

The #2 Jedi, Photographer

March 31, 2020

You just start to see the bottom of your coffee cup clear up. You know what this means. No less than 10 minutes from now you’ll start to feel the caffeine soak into your lower intestine and start a movement in your then sleepy ...

Uber Workers’ Strike Leaves Parker Kids Stranded

Ian Shayne, Editor-in-Chief

March 31, 2020

Editor’s Note: The piece below was published in The Weekly’s 2020 “Joke Issue.” All content, quotations, and other features are entirely fictitious.  Senior Rohan Jain gazed out a second-floor alcove window overlooki...

Student Body Votes On More Bowls

Emma Manley, Brief Writer

March 31, 2020

Editor’s Note: The piece below was published in The Weekly’s 2020 “Joke Issue.” All content, quotations, and other features are entirely fictitious.  On Friday, March 6, during the most recent round of participatory budge...

Democracy 2.0

Gazeebo J., Online Editor

March 31, 2020

Editor’s Note: The piece below was published in The Weekly’s 2020 “Joke Issue.” All content, quotations, and other features are entirely fictitious.  Roughly 300 Upper School students run around, each trying to stand in f...

The student news site of Francis W. Parker School