When you’re a junior in high school, college is the most important thing in the world. I don’t mean to generalize, but I feel confident in saying that in the “Parker Bubble” as we so affectionately call it, getting into college is more than a priority. It’s everything. When people are excited, scared, annoyed, or even unwilling to do something, they talk about it. So it’s no surprise that people with all different feelings towards college engage in conversation about college.
College talk is inevitable and can be a way to connect. However, when it begins to sound like “did you hear where she’s going? I thought she was smart…” or “he doesn’t deserve to go there, he’s kind of stupid,” it begins to weave an entirely avoidable web of comparison and criticism. Personally, I worry that if that’s what people think of others, what will they think of me? Should I make the unforgivable mistake of going to a university someone deems “lesser-than,” will I be humiliated? If I am accepted to a school that is highly esteemed by my peers, will I be judged for that too? This logic is my argument for a different approach to college talk, an approach based in curiosity, not judgment. Success should be measured by your personal fulfillment and pride, not by the letterhead on your acceptance letters.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t have a habit of comparing myself to others. Everyone does it. However, at what point are we as a student body not just engaging in friendly competition, but rather creating an environment where no one feels that their best effort is good enough? When conversations about college turn hostile, and college chat is no longer fun and exciting, I have to imagine many students feel pressure, worry, and shame. Who wants to feel like they’re doing a sub-par job at being a high schooler? No one does. It sucks. We must shift the narrative from this one-size-fits-all mindset into one where people are looked at for their individual skills and not whether they fit into the mold of what some high schooler believes the “ideal elite college candidate” looks like.
Talking about college is not a bad thing. It’s also not something that will ever go away. However, wouldn’t it be nice if we could make this stressful time a little easier for everyone, and prevent a lot of fear from happening in the first place? By simply choosing to shift the narrative from a place of criticism to a place of celebration, everyone could be happier. Once we step outside the privileged Parker Bubble and realize that going to college at all is an accomplishment, maybe we can all be a little more considerate of the effort and feelings of one another.
