Jokes – The Parker Weekly

Photo Spreads and Backpage, Issue 8 – Volume CVIV

The Parker Weekly

April 1, 2020

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Charlie Moog ‘19 preparing (with his hood up) for the impeachment trial.

Adam Schiff Hires Moog ’19

March 31, 2020

Tomas Catoggio wears just a few pieces from his last collection.

Lil Spooky Meets Jewelry Thief

March 31, 2020

The Starbucks drinks that twelve upper school students mobile ordered to have picked up and brought back to school for them by two generous students.

Parker Hosts First Annual Starbucks Mobile Order Pickup Competition

March 31, 2020

Letter From The Editors, Issue 8 – Volume CVIV

The Parker Weekly

March 31, 2020

Happy April Fools, Parker! We have missed you all DEARLY throughout the past couple months. We hope you’re all staying healthy and hand-washed, and surviving the quarantine. :(( We’ve got some great content in this issue....

Top 5 Places To Poop

The #2 Jedi, Photographer

March 31, 2020

You just start to see the bottom of your coffee cup clear up. You know what this means. No less than 10 minutes from now you’ll start to feel the caffeine soak into your lower intestine and start a movement in your then sleepy ...

Parker’s new and improved cafeteria, complete with two of the most popular restaurants in the upper school, Roti and Sweetgreen.

Parker Cafeteria To Be Replaced By Sweetgreen

March 31, 2020

Uber Workers’ Strike Leaves Parker Kids Stranded

Ian Shayne, Editor-in-Chief

March 31, 2020

Editor’s Note: The piece below was published in The Weekly’s 2020 “Joke Issue.” All content, quotations, and other features are entirely fictitious. Senior Rohan Jain gazed out a second-floor alcove window overlooki...

Student Body Votes On More Bowls

Emma Manley, Brief Writer

March 31, 2020

Editor’s Note: The piece below was published in The Weekly’s 2020 “Joke Issue.” All content, quotations, and other features are entirely fictitious. On Friday, March 6, during the most recent round of participatory budge...

Parker’s new mascot, a non-offensive or provoking kernel of corn, triumphantly stands at a pep rally in front of the school.

Parker’s Newest Mascot Pops

March 31, 2020

Democracy 2.0

Gazeebo J., Online Editor

March 31, 2020

Editor’s Note: The piece below was published in The Weekly’s 2020 “Joke Issue.” All content, quotations, and other features are entirely fictitious. Roughly 300 Upper School students run around, each trying to stand in f...

Three editors pose with their magic wands

Francis W. Parker’s Worst Nightmare

March 31, 2020