On March 13, at 8:10 in the morning, Dean of Students Ed Amos reinstated the highly coveted DJ club.  DJ club was first introduced to the Parker Community in the Fall of 2013 by then Senior Cornell “Cornstradamus” Jackson. Each Tuesday during U-Lunch, Jackson and his elite club (including members such as Mitchell “Dunleavy Jr.” Siegel, Kareem “Uber” Medlock, and “Free-Ish” Jones).  

After playing the song “Gas Pedal,” by Sage the Gemini, ex-dean Charles “Mo” Owens shut down the DJ club indefinitely after Nicky Kupferberg hit a seventh grader in the face while doing the “gas pedal” dance move. Amos remarked, “I think our whole community feels a bit safer now that Kupferberg is on crutches.”

Last Friday, Amos posted signs in each grade’s locker room about his revamped DJ club with an “Open Door” policy. DJ Club will now take place every Tuesday during U-Lunch in Amos’s office. Amos cut the Upper School Model United Nations International Trip budget in order to buy beats pills for every member. Senior Samuel “Salty MX Guy” Winick at first was dismayed, even setting the Senior locker area on fire in protest. Winick’s feeling has changed, however. “I was hesitant at first, but as soon as I heard ‘My neck, My Back’ ringing through the hallways, I was persuaded to join.”  

Students reported that they saw Senior Augie “John” Fornango running with his beats pill throughout the hallways screaming in excitement about DJ club. Now it is not an uncommon occurrence to see Amos dancing in the doorway of his office to songs such as “Trap Queen,” “Truffle Butter,” and “ What Does the Fox Say.” After a few weeks of DJ club, Amos decided to subsidise Lollapalooza four day passes instead of Ventra cards for students. Overall, the Parker community is thrilled to have DJ club back. Even though Amos is leaving next year, Tabloñia is excited to announce that they will be taking over the DJ club’s responsibilities.