Thank you for watching me grow and change. To my grade, as I mentioned on the retreat, I am incredibly grateful and thankful for your continuous support and love. I truly hope the love and kindness we felt in that room continues.
After seven years, my time at Parker is ending. As I’ve mentioned throughout my recent columns, I am incredibly grateful for the experience and opportunities I’ve had. I am very grateful to have been in such a small grade. I have loved hearing your perspectives, and opinions and sitting next to you in class for the majority of my life. As teachers and administrators have mentioned throughout the years, we are a very special grade. Academically, we hold an incredibly high overall GPA and are leaders in basically every area of the school. More importantly, with exceptions, we are truly kind. We look out for each other — whether in-school or outside of school, and I believe that we will always do so.
Moreover, we know each other really well. And sometimes, too well. Parker’s small grades make it easy to get to know each other. We have seen each other change, but that continuous connection doesn’t allow people to change in the eyes of other people. For example, I can still remember the “drama” of a certain person from middle school, which is something I shouldn’t even think about. So, even if your personality, style or anything else is changing, that old perspective is still present. Bryan Stevenson once said, “Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.” As everyone knows each other too well, that ideal is often forgotten since group-think can spread so quickly.
Knowing one’s grade too well also allows drama to spread like wildfire. I’ve definitely been the cause and victim of this behavior. I remember one time last year, the former seniors came up to me and asked “Have you been hanging out with (name)?” I was surprised to hear that their entire grade was under a false assumption– a rumor that began out of thin air. This sort of falsehood can even follow you as you graduate, creating a legacy of pure lies.
As our grade is incredibly small, we must all remain civil with each other for the general success of the grade– making broken friendships into fake friendships. This plasticity doesn’t allow for people to express their real opinion of each other, repressing those feelings inward. I find this sort of internal repression harmful to one’s self long-term mental health. Now, I have personally witnessed and acted in this manner, I don’t want to seem as some sort of “God” that is just analyzing. As I’ve matured through this year, I’ve slowly witnessed how my behavior connects to this Parker phenomenon. I’ve slowly distanced myself from friendships that weren’t providing the genuine connection and love I hope to find in a friendship. I really hope that in college, a larger student body will allow me to find those true friends on the first round. Meeting everyone, without knowing their past, will allow me to see them through my genuine perspective– not the general perspective which has been created for them.
That fakeness has honestly taught me something I will forever remember and utilize– how to be a D1 bullshitter. Parker is not known to be a math-centered or poet school, however, when a Parker student steps onto a stage – you will immediately know where they went to high school. During outside-of-Parker programs, I’ve seen how impactful Parker has been to my public speaking skills and to sounding profound and professional in any conversation. In a small circle discussion, I remember a professor asking a very thoughtful question. I casually raised my hand, as it was the sort of question I had answered before in Mr. Laufer’s classroom. However, to the other students who had never experienced a Socratic Seminar, it was a more challenging conversation.
Despite my complaints and grievances, I am still very grateful to have such a small grade. I am still very proud to know the name of every person in my grade. I am proud to know that I was genuinely excited to learn about every member’s next adventures. I truly truly hope for the best for every person. I know they will all do amazing, impactful things. I can’t wait to see what they’ll do– whether through a conversation, instagram post or linkedin update. To my grade, I will always be here to celebrate you, no matter how close we were in high school (it feels so strange to use high school in a sentence with the past tense).
Until we meet again,
Pau
