On Thursday, November 21, the Performing Arts Committee hosted their annual Talent Show, filling the auditorium with the hum of anticipation. The lineup included singing acts by talented sophomores, piano performances by seniors, and everything in between. It was an event of tradition, skill, and celebration—until it wasn’t.
The student announcers introduced the next act. Sophomores William McCloskey and Jack Bartlett took the stage, hyping the audience for an onion-eating competition. They explained that whoever consumed a whole white onion first, within the three minutes allotted, wins. They had a trash can between them for scraps and other excrements.
“We noticed that the talent show was always dominated by music acts, so we thought we’d mix things up a bit,” McCloskey explained in a post act interview. “We just wanted to show that you can do pretty much anything. It’s all about having fun.”
The crowd stirred with a mix of confusion and excitement. As Bartlett and McCloskey continued, they grew increasingly uncomfortable. Over a microphone, Theatre and Technical Manager Tom Moster announced that it was time to “tap out.”
Bartlett vomited on stage as Moster dimmed the lights. Neither Bartlett nor McCloskey finished their onions.
“I was very disturbed by the onion-eating contest,” said junior Hudson Davis, an audience member still reeling from the spectacle. “My stomach was very unsettled for the rest of the performance.” The act left the audience divided—some laughing hysterically, others grimacing in discomfort—as the pungent aroma of raw onions filled the air.
“I thought it was really cool to see something that wasn’t music-related,” said sophomore Hugh Jones. Senior Jacob Condrell shared a more reflective take on the event. “I thought it was beautiful, and I felt like the Parker pride was really there,” he explained. “Having these unique events mixes things up and keeps things interesting within the school.”
Bartlett explained the inspiration behind their act. “We couldn’t think of a talent we could do together,” he admitted. “The first thing that came to mind was an onion-eating competition.” Reflecting on the performance, Bartlett described it as surreal. “My experience on stage was dream-like until the incident happened,” he said, pausing with a grin. “If someone puked on stage, I wouldn’t enjoy it either, but I think it’s more about the sense of competition and the goofy atmosphere of eating an onion at the talent show.” For Bartlett and McCloskey, the act wasn’t just about shock value—it was a playful challenge meant to entertain and break the mold of typical talent show performances. The performance that followed immediately after was Parker’s adult choir.
“I don’t think it was a good idea for them to throw up on stage,” senior Caitlyn Howe remarked, shaking her head. In response, Bartlett reflected on the aftermath with a laugh. “If I were to do this again, I probably wouldn’t throw up, like, five times afterward,” he admitted. “It wasn’t fun.”
In his final words, McCloskey reflected on the memorable performance with a hint of humor. “The only thing I regret is not bringing a toothbrush afterward,” he said. Love it or hate it, the onion-eating contest was an act no one will soon forget, adding a unique twist to this year’s talent show—and leaving a lasting impression.
