Over my two and a half years at Parker, I’ve noticed something amazing and unique about the school: the utilization of student feedback. It is one of the great aspects of attending Parker and something the administration takes pride in. However, the line between constructive feedback and simply whining and complaining has become quite distorted, and I think that we all need to take a step back to realize that Parker is still a school where not every aspect will be to everyone’s liking.
I’ve been increasingly noticing this whining over my time at Parker in Senate and in our DEIB and community conversations. When students are sharing their opinions and feedback, there are many times when they come off as whiny and demanding without a feasible solution. A prime example of this is when students are asked about the new phone policy that was implemented this year. So many people talk about how they can’t check their schedule or check their email during the day when there are, in reality, a myriad of ways to do either one. In addition, many people who were against the policy simply wanted it to be gone instead of proposing a solution that would also promote community like the policy aims to do. And while I am definitely not a supporter of the policy, I don’t understand whining about it with a sliver of hope that it will just go away. Rather than simply demanding that the policy gets scrapped, productive feedback would involve proposing amendments to the new policy—maybe phones can be used only during times where the entire Upper School does not have class, such as lunch or conference, but away during any letter blocks and Arts Ensemble.
Another prime topic is workload: people seem to think that it is a crime against humanity to have two projects due on the same day, which is definitely not pleasant, but it’s school, and not everything is going to be. I think people struggle to understand that even though Parker is a model home and more “comfortable” than a traditional school, with teachers and students being friends and people casually hanging out in the building, it is still a school, and not everything is going to be enjoyable. People need to just accept that some things are going to be stressful, or difficult, or overwhelming because that’s how life is. Instead of wasting energy complaining about assignments being piled onto each other, why not write a resolution in Student Government about workload or have a productive conversation with your teacher about workload? These are examples of productive and effective feedback that can create realistic change.
The administration is another entity that students seemingly force into their solutions in every feedback-based conversation. Workload? Administration needs to tell teachers to cut down the amount of work. Community? Administration needs to do more to bring the grades together and promote cross-grade interactions. No matter the conversation, when students are asked to brainstorm solutions to any problems within the school, almost every time without fail someone will say that the administration needs to step in and do something. First of all, I’m convinced that half of the student body has no clue who they’re referring to when they say the administration. Even if they do, who in the administration are they referring to? Do they want Dr. Frank or Ms. Rupani to ensure that the school isn’t too cliquey, or do they want Mr. Bruno or Ms. Zeller to tell a teacher to not give a test simply because the class is tired? The administration is huge and they shouldn’t be treated like overworked customer service agents. Secondly, the adults in the building can only do so much without students being annoyed that they’re intervening too much – even though that’s what the students wanted in the first place. It’s an endless and inevitable cycle of there being a problem, someone saying the administration needs to solve said problem, the administration then planning Upper School wide programming to try and address the problem, and then students complaining that the programming is eating into their freetime. Half of the time, the programming isn’t really doing anything beneficial. Of course, sometimes there are situations in which the administration should be involved, but not every minor inconvenience needs to be escalated to that level. Perhaps if we all just tried a bit harder, we could create real solutions that were made by students, for students.
Tangible change has been made through feedback, and I definitely am not trying to say all student feedback at Parker is whining and complaining. Take, for example, the Student Government resolution which enforced a 5 p.m. deadline for teachers to post assignments to the portal to be due the next day—a highly effective and useful resolution that did not come from whining students, but instead from students who channeled their annoyance and frustration into creating a real solution.
What I am not saying is that we need to stop voicing our opinions and giving feedback because opinionated feedback is vital to sustaining the unique Parker community. I am proposing that people understand that a school-organized conversation for feedback is not an appropriate time to talk about how they’re annoyed at their geometry class for having a test on the same day their history project, which they had two weeks to complete, was due. Let’s emphasize the line between feedback and fussing by being constructive members of the community instead of acting like our younger and more whiny lower school peers.
