Outside of my exclusive Parker circle of three, most people don’t know that I’m a self-proclaimed theater kid. When I’m not at home rewatching my favorite “Hadestown” slime tutorial, you can usually find me at the Cadillac Palace theater or in my bedroom trying to stretch last year’s birthday money into enough for a ticket to any local productions. So, I consider myself to be rather knowledgeable in the grand world of musicals. Now, that’s not to say I know everything. I most certainly don’t. While I do have every line from “Heathers” memorized, I couldn’t even guess what “Carousel” is about. But I do know a lot about “Rent,” and I have some very intense opinions about Parker putting on the show.
For those unfamiliar with Jonathan Larson’s masterpiece, it’s a killer rock musical about a group of young, HIV-positive artists battling with complicated interpersonal relationships, addictions, and, of course, rent. It is an amazingly profound musical, and I highly suggest that everyone watch a production of it if available (you could also watch Giacomo Puccini’s “La Bohème,” which Larson has cited as his inspiration, but I think that’s a lame way to avoid witnessing greatness). Both of these works grapple with the troubling theme of homelessness, but “Rent” adds on topics that modern audiences often disagree about: addiction, HIV, and sex.
Now, these themes are not-not “PG” within themselves. There are easily a dozen kids’ shows I can list off the top of my head that explore arguably more mature themes in a way suitable for their audiences. Sesame Street, for example, has vast collections of episodes that educate about topics like homelessness, drugs, and even HIV. Even the highly divisive Bluey has episodes educating children about loss of relatives and infertility. However, they can easily become twisted if created by and performed for the wrong individuals. Now, I know what you’re thinking: anyone can create art—that’s the beauty of it. And to that, I agree. But that doesn’t mean everyone should.
One of the most prominent (and one of my personal favorites) characters is Mimi Márquez: a drug-addicted, HIV-positive stripper. I’ll just leave that there. Don’t get me wrong, she is glorious. She is an authentic representation of a 20th-century young woman fighting against the deep-seated racist, capitalistic society of her time. She knows exactly who she is and refuses to change. Mimi is like every single Broadway powerhouse I would die to play. But she’s also a stripper. Under no circumstances should she be played by a minor. I am sure that the majority of Upper School students are aware of what a stripper is. But I would also hope that no student would have to play a stripper in front of their classmates. I neither think it’s appropriate, nor do I think any high schooler would be able to portray a character like Mimi with full regard to her story.
Quite frankly, I’ve attempted to sit through a bootleg version of “Rent” performed by middle schoolers, and it was tragic. Not because the actors were bad, but because no one really understood what was going on. Entire portions of the musical were omitted. Mimi wasn’t Mimi anymore. She was some lurid version of herself. Oh, and also, everyone has cancer, not AIDS. But, for some reason, they kept “Contact” in. Or at least a part of it. Regardless, it’s a song about sex lives and possibly the least youth-friendly song in the whole musical theater world. Did I mention that they kept in the bit where a character admits to murdering a dog? Yeah. In “Today 4 You,” Angel just casually says she killed a rich person’s dog for money. So that’s probably not the most appropriate.
Here’s where it gets complicated, though. Some people, typically those who do not produce the art themselves, argue that there are “junior” versions of musicals: alternate performances in which songs and even full characters are cut to make stories more child-friendly. Personally, I think that is a blasphemous idea. By taking out aspects of a character, you are essentially removing value and diminishing their worth. There’s a reason why some movies have R ratings. They’re not for everyone and should not be altered for the viewing of everyone. In fact, if you’ve ever rented a movie on DVD, it’ll flash a blue screen saying exactly that. But even though that’s the harsh stance I hold, production companies don’t always align with my values. There is indeed a “junior” version of Rent available for licensing rights online. However, with a closer look, it is essentially just the original version of Rent with several mentions of drugs removed and the complete removal of “Contact.”
Regardless, I am urging the world to think before they decide to use the work of others. If you truly believe a musical in which suicide, drugs, and strippers is school-appropiate, you might want to take a few minutes to think before casting enthusiastic, carefree performers.
