At Parker, most students have grown up within these walls. Many arrived as curious four and five year olds, not only getting to learn but also grow up at Parker. So when entering a school in a new grade after everyone has grown up together can cause stress to a new kid. Everyone can agree high school is a challenging and stressful time for anyone at any school. Having friends and a sense of familiarity can help students navigate high school and strengthen the overall experience. In 8th grade, I moved to Chicago from living in Europe for several years. I was the only new kid in my grade due to 8th grade being an ‘off-year’ an ‘off-year’ is when a kid is coming into a new school in an off year. The typical entry points depend on the school but for Parker I would say they are JK/SK, 6th grade, and 9th grade. These are typically the most popular years to come. Coming from a different country and not knowing anyone in my class was nerve-racking, and I had a difficult time adjusting to this change in my life. I am now in 10th grade, making it my third year at Parker. During field hockey preseason, I found out we had a new girl, Marley Ross, joining our grade from Seattle. I immediately grew curious as to why someone was coming in another ‘off-year’ like myself. Reflecting on my Parker journey, I remembered how good it felt having people reach out to me before the school year started, which led me to reaching out to her via social media and giving her a sense of familiarity. A few weeks after Marley’s first year and my third I was curious to see how she was adjusting. Marley and I sat down at the Sophomore Benches and immediately jumped into talking about her experiences compared to mine at the start of the school year.
Weeks into Marley’s first year and my second, we discussed how our experiences compared. “The first few days, pretty much the first full week, were very hard, if I’m being completely honest. I expected it to be a little hard and obviously unfamiliar, but it took me longer than I thought to really start to fit in and become more comfortable. Not that it’s a bad thing, but everyone is very close to one another, and there are very obvious cliques throughout the grade as well.” Sophomore Marley Ross said. ,arley then talked about the time span and what made her feel comfortable here. “It took me a few days to get settled before I really started to make friends, but once I did, I began to feel much happier and more confident,” Ross said
Marley’s answer really resonates with me and how having a friend group can impact your experience – especially at Parker – due to how small in size it is. I was curious to learn about what led to a tough entry such as friends, academics, sports, ect and what had been the most challenging so far for her.
“The most challenging transition has been academics, as the schedule, workload, and overall grading style are extremely different from my old school and what I was used to.”
For myself the grading style was completely different and the curriculum was more challenging compared to Parker. I also had very small classes in Europe so the sizes weren’t a change for me, however Marley had a different experience. “Since there are much smaller class sizes, I feel like teachers push students harder and have a stricter grading style and expectations when it comes to work. This is very different from my old school, where I had 20+ classmates in each class and the rubrics and expectations were not as high. Although it’s more challenging, I do feel more supported and seen by my teachers here at Parker.”
I thought back to my experience and the original challenges that I faced such as the learning style from a European school back to an American school, and how I got over those challenges. I remember when I came in 8th grade I was super stressed out about taking Spanish as someone who had only taken French. I talked to my friends about it and they made me feel better and ensured I would be okay in the class and they would help me whenever I needed. Their reassurance gave me the confidence to speak out in my Spanish class and to really dive into the language and culture. I wondered if there were any school programs or teachers that made Marley feel more welcomed.
“After the first few days of school, I thought that I would never gain any new close friends because I felt on the outside. In one of my classes, a classmate came up to me and started talking to me. She asked what I was wearing for Homecoming, and I told her the honest truth: that I didn’t think I was going to attend because I had nobody to go with, Ross said, “Without hesitation,” she said, ‘Oh, well, anywhere I go, you are more than welcome to come with me.’ I don’t think she knew how much that meant to me, because it was the first time I felt a genuine sense of welcome. Later that day, she invited me to lunch, where she introduced me to the rest of her friends, who were also extremely kind and welcoming. Now I get to call them some of my best friends.”
Marley’s response to this makes me wonder what advice other new kids could take when attending Parker. “First, I would tell them to put themselves out there, no matter how scary it may be. I failed to do this during the first few days of school because I was so scared of judgment, but once I started talking to more people and showing them parts of my true self, everything got better immediately. Second, I would tell them to walk in with a fresh and open mindset, no matter what prior knowledge or judgments they’ve heard from other students or friends. You get to make your own judgments, even if they end up being the same as what others told you,” Ross said. Listening to her response I couldn’t agree more. No matter what environment you are in, if you surround yourself with the right people and have an optimistic outlook on certain situations, it will be easier to integrate. To her second point, I also agree, and especially as a new person without a reputation at Parker, it’s important to have your own opinions and views on your classmates. Parker is a smaller school, so your words and random gossip spreads around quickly, so staying out of people’s business is key to having a smooth integration.
“I would have liked to know the special terms, meetings, and traditions beforehand, because once I got here I was extremely confused, and it seemed like there was something new I needed to know or attend every day. This made the process harder because going to a new school is challenging and confusing enough, but the added terminology and knowledge required within the school culture just added complexity to the whole experience.” Marley gave some suggestions for new students or for the schools to add something to make new students feel included.
“I think it would be beneficial to give new students a “buddy” or “mentor” for the first few days to help with navigation, understanding the school, and having someone to be with if they don’t know anybody yet,” I agree with Marley and can see this becoming a real system implemented at Parker. It’s similar to the bridge program here but is a little more personal and individual helpful. This could become a part of bridge or could become a tradition within the school to help branch out and connect with kids, especially for those coming in “off-years” such as 8th or 10th grade. Parker is a spirited school with many great things to offer, especially the traditions put on here. I always look back on the memories from past events and realize that those traditions are what really help integrate you with the school and help connect you to your classmates. Social gatherings such as homecoming and winter formal allow you to bond at a school.
“I haven’t been here that long, so I don’t really have a favorite one yet, but County Fair was pretty fun, it was nice to see everyone come together and have a good time. I’m also excited for 12 Days because everyone has been talking about it and seems really enthusiastic about it,” Ross said.
Marley’s story, much like my own, highlights how challenging it can be to enter Parker in an “off-year,” when friendships are already formed and the school culture feels second nature to everyone except you. Yet her experience also reinforces something just as important: the smallest acts of welcome can make the biggest difference. Whether it’s a classmate inviting you to lunch or someone simply reaching out before school starts, these gestures can transform an intimidating transition into the beginning of real belonging. Both of our journeys show that while Parker’s tight-knit community and strong traditions can feel overwhelming at first, they’re also what make the school so special once you find your footing. With openness, empathy, and a willingness to put yourself out there, new students can carve out a place for themselves faster than they might expect. As a community, we can make that process even smoother through mentorship, kindness, and inclusion. Ultimately, Parker’s spirit isn’t just in its traditions or its long-standing friendships, but in the people who choose to welcome others into them.
