On April 19, Dr. Bruce Perry visited Parker to give a presentation about the way technology affects empathy and how people can combat negative influences in their lives to bring social change. His presentation provoked me to think about the significance of empathy at Parker–and whether students really demonstrate empathy for one another. Demonstrating empathy is significant because it strengthens students’ abilities to perceive and express emotion.      

Parker’s mission statement tells us that, “The Francis W. Parker School educates students to think and act with empathy, courage and clarity as responsible citizens and leaders in a democratic society and global community.”

But are students truly empathetic toward their classmates? My answer is yes.

Parker forges bonds between its students through retreats. Upper schoolers canoed collaboratively through waters of “The Glen Camp” during freshman year. We scavenged through the forests of “Touch of Trail Camp” in sophomore year. On the junior retreat, we restored clubs for organizations, commiserating with one another when a student made a blunder and celebrating with one another when a student had succeeded.

After these retreats, I found myself caring more about my classmates because I gained a stronger understanding of their personalities and backgrounds. And Parker students build on the bonds they have created over these retreats through meaningful conversations in the locker area or greetings in the hallways.

Parker has fostered collaboration in classrooms as well, through innovative projects that require students to work together. In this way, I have seen students discussing ideas passionately and paying keen attention to their peers’ opinions. These interactions definitely illustrate the extent to which students care about the participation of and contributions made by their peers.

Through my experiences collaborating with students on projects and going on retreats with them, I have become more familiar with my grade because I have simply spent more quality time with them. By gaining a deeper understanding of their personalities, I have become more empathetic with my classmates.

One may argue that the bonds that are formed from retreats or projects fizzle a couple weeks after the retreat or project, and that the junior grade is left in its unamended form: “cliquey.” Each junior was given a flash card during the junior retreat and asked to write one word to describe their class as a whole. Out of 80 students, 20 of them said “cliquey.” One may claim that if 25% of the junior class characterizes the grade in this manner, then there is either a problem with the students or the nature of Parker.

I disagree. While people may characterize the junior grade as “cliquey,” there are definitely ways in which this label has become less apparent thanks to Parker.

If the juniors were not comfortable with people outside of their “clique,” they would not have the ability to voice their opinions to them. And yet there are many debates and discussions in our classes in which students stand by their opinions and push back against the opinions they are not persuaded by. The allegiance one feels to one’s own opinion has encouraged students to have conversations with students they may not otherwise talk to.

Similarly, Parker has turned students who started out as fairly “cliquey” into a reasonably cohesive group, in which they–even if they will never be best friends–can discuss ideas with each other to work together on projects in progressive ways. What we can learn from this is that activities such as retreats, discussions, and projects make students more empathetic, and for that reason, it is constructive for Parker to invest in resources that encourage empathy.

Throughout my experience at Parker, I have noticed Parker’s investments in these resources have made a more significant impact on the junior class.

Going forward, upper schoolers should continue to be open to breaking out of their friend groups and to exploring friendships with others. Students should approach people that they may not typically talk to and get rid of the shields that make them unwilling to open up to their classmates. We cannot ensure that this will happen, but the least we can do is to encourage it.