In a lot of ways, teachers are like parents. They nurture you into becoming an independent person, they help you answer some of your toughest questions, and they are always there to help you succeed. But what if your teacher were your parent?

The class of 2017, this year’s senior class, was the first class to get tuition remission, a negotiation in teachers’ contracts that makes it easier for faculty to send their children to Parker. Prior to this, there weren’t many children of teachers who were enrolled as students at Parker.

With more and more teachers sending their children to Parker, faculty will have the opportunity to experience teaching a family member or a child of a colleague.

Eighth grade English teacher David Fuder taught his daughter, freshman Anna Fuder, during the 2015-16 school year. “It was a wonderful experience to see her as a student, and not just as my daughter,” Fuder said,  “and see how she navigates the terrain of academics and school life.”

The decision to teach his own daughter in school came after much consideration. Fuder knew a lot of people would be watching him and his daughter, so going into it, he was conscious of the things that he said and did. “I like to have fun with my classes,” Fuder said, “and I like to be irreverent and keep kids on their toes, and I think I was playing things a little more cautiously last year than normal.”

Anna initially found it difficult to get used to. “It was hard to get used to having my dad as my teacher,” Anna said. “It was definitely weird to have your dad talking about his students that were my friends. Having friends over and them being, ‘Oh, there’s my English teacher.’”

Being taught by her father also deepened their relationship in a way that few people get to experience.  “My dad being my teacher pushed me to bring up good points in class and to always stay focused,” Anna said. “Sometimes at dinner we would talk about class that day, and we would feel more connected. He would know more about what school was like for me.”

Teaching his daughter last year took a lot more out of Fuder than he expected. “I put more pressure on myself than was really there,” Fuder said. “These are the parents that I’ve become friends with so when I am teaching their kids, it’s a little bit different, it feels different, it feels like there’s more on the line.”

Upper school History teacher Kevin Conlon taught his oldest son Liam Conlon in 2012 during his Modern Muslim World elective. “At first I was concerned,” Conlon said. “I thought, ‘This is going to be very strange,’ but it didn’t feel that way at all. He was just another student in the class. It was less of a deal than I thought it was going to be.”

Unlike some of the parent teachers that said discussing the class material outside of school was a perk of having a child student, Conlon had a different experience. “We would drive in every day, and I would say, ‘Liam what did you think about that article that I assigned you guys?’” Conlon said, “and he would just say, ‘Dad, can we just talk about it in class?’”

Conlon found that grading his child was not an uncomfortable challenge.  “When you have a pile of homework to read through or essays, you know that that’s your kid’s, but you still kinda judge it by the same set of patterns and rules,” Conlon said. “I found it not very difficult to make that separation between parent and teacher.”

As far as having your friends and colleagues grading your child, Conlon didn’t have a problem about going up and asking for updates. “If your kid is going to school here, you do have that privilege,” Conlon said, “and sometimes I did approach colleagues and I would say apologetically, ‘Can I ask you about how Liam’s doing?’ and I would say that I’m putting on my parent hat right now.”

Although Conlon loved having his son in the Upper School, he made sure to take a hands-off approach for Liam’s sake. “I could’ve been a different kind of parent where I would’ve been chasing him down and talking to him in the hallway,” Conlon said. “But I think that would’ve been kind of damaging for his own sense of independence.”

Overall, sharing Parker with Liam was an experience that Conlon will cherish.“As a parent it was a real pleasure to see him interacting with other students, being his own self outside of home,” Conlon said. “That was really a privilege to get that view.”

History teacher Jeanne Barr has two kids at the school and is currently teaching her older son, senior Casey Barr, in the elective Civil Liberties and the American State. “I have a bit more information about my sons than the average parent,” Barr said about sharing the school with her children. “I see them and what they’re in and what they’re not in.”

Because of Casey’s being in the Upper School, Barr has been in the position of having her close colleagues grading her son. “I have made a super conscious effort these last three and a half years not to engage with my colleagues about grades,” Barr said. “I don’t want my colleagues to avoid talking to me because they are worried that I might be hovering over them about giving my kid A’s.”

When interacting with her son in the classroom, though, there’s nothing Barr has to specifically watch out for. “In some regards teaching my son is the same,” Barr said. “The standards are same, and he does the same homework. What’s cool is that we talk about class material in the car, and as things come up in the news that are related to my class, we can have these heightened discussions about it.”

According to Barr, sharing a classroom with a loved one is also challenging. “When he’s not engaged in the material, I have more opportunities to nag him,” Barr said. “It doesn’t feel good on my end, but it really doesn’t feel good on his end.”

In the end, Barr wants to make sure that her sons’ experiences have been similar to those of other students. Barr said, “The thing that I never wanted for them was to be treated as though they were weird, or special or getting super scrutinized because everyone knows me in ways that another kid wouldn’t.”

Teaching her son has not only been a memorable experience for Barr, but it has helped her grow as a teacher. “I think the fact that I am a parent of teenagers has made me a better teacher,” Barr said. “I’m more cognizant of what the student experience is, what kids go through.”