“What does gender identity mean to you?” a group of 30 students, mostly underclassmen, are asked in the Humanities Center. They shift in their seats during a period of silence before someone answers, and conversation begins to flow. Some doodle idly, some listen intently, but all are present on Friday, April 21 in Parker’s most recent series of identity discussion: Gender Dialogues.

The Dialogues took place over two days through five events, starting with an introductory video shown during advisory on the Wednesday before the discussions continued on Friday. The TEDx video, titled “Understanding the Complexities of Gender,” by Sam Killermann, aims to “get some common vocabulary and raise awareness” about gender, according to Upper School history and social studies teacher Jeanne Barr, who is also a Student Government faculty advisor and played a role in organizing the Dialogues.

The next two events occurred simultaneously during Student Government time on Friday– a smaller group discussion option and a larger group screening of a video option. The discussion in the Humanities Center was one of the three smaller conversations. Students chose between the larger group in the auditorium and a smaller group. The smaller groups discussed the impacts of gender on an individual level, and the larger group watched an excerpt from the documentary “The Mask You Live In” and a commercial called “Like A Girl.”

After sitting in these groups, students had another discussion opportunity in their advisories, where advisors were provided with discussion prompts. Students could also participate in a voluntary follow-up on the Dialogues during a U-Lunch debrief session, also on Friday.

Though the idea for the Dialogues existed from the beginning of the school year, the planning began six weeks before the event, according to one of the main organizers and Student Government Inclusion Coordinator Carlos Lopez, a sophomore. “I thought people needed to talk about something that we haven’t talked about but really is an issue at Parker,” Lopez said. “The goal was to make sure people understood what gender looks like and how it affects everyone–not just women and girls.”

The Dialogues were originally set to take place on Friday, March 31, before April Break, but were postponed after a gradehead meeting that Thursday. “We had some conversation about what it was going to look like and what the discussion would be, and it became clear that the plan needed to be fleshed out in a more cohesive way,” Upper School English teacher and freshman grade head Cory Zeller said. “We felt like it was being rushed.”

For the gradeheads, the next step was to offer help, according to Upper School English teacher and co-chair Theresa Collins. Collins teaches a second-semester English elective called Issues of Race, Class, Gender, and Sexual Orientation. She offered this group of students as an aid, as they had just finished their unit on gender and gender identity.

The students in the class volunteered to be discussion leaders for either the large discussion or the smaller ones. They also worked with Lopez to add to the planned material and develop a concrete plan for the events. “It was definitely interesting,” senior Morgan Harler, a member of Collins’s class, said, “not only learning about issues surrounding gender but then trying to discuss with other people what they go through.”

Aside from a few logistical issues–a mix-up with the video played during the large discussion and cuts due to time–the event went well, according to Collins. “It’s difficult when there’s a smaller group of people who are planning something with a compressed timeline,” she said, “but given the time we had and the number of people we had, things went as smoothly as they could have gone.”

For Lopez the event was not only a success for students but for the Parker community as a whole. “Last year was kind of a mess, but we have started moving forward,” he said, referring to the infamous “Whiteness MX” of November 2015.  “I think the community is tentative and doesn’t want to move on yet, but it’s a good idea to start looking past it and looking forward in order to progress.”

Barr agreed, emphasizing the value of these kinds of discussions. “Issues of identity are everywhere for anybody who’s paying attention,” Barr said. “The arena of coming to grips with cultural competency and being able to navigate in a world where not everybody has the same background is the skill set for the 21st century. These dialogues are geared towards making all of us a little bit more comfortable in that arena to approach things.”

Upper School students generally had positive reactions to the Dialogues. “I thought it was really good that we had the discussion, but my small discussion room was pretty crowded,” junior Margo Fuchs said. “Had we been in groups of ten, it would have worked better.”

“I thought it was good,” freshman Sean Andrews said. “It was pretty educational, and I learned a lot.”

As to the future of these discussions, Collins hopes to see them continued and expanded in a planned out and thoughtful way. She also added that the newly-introduced Senior Seminar class could be a useful resource.

“What I love about working on issues like gender at Parker is that when there’s a group of folks who are interested, the process of planning and designing is as valuable as the content of the conversation that happens,” Collins said. “We’re a work in progress, so nothing’s ever going to be perfect, but I think every time we continue to have events and then follow-up conversations where planning can happen, we’re good.”