“Come and meet me in the bathroom stall and show me why you deserve to have it all.”

No, that’s not from a leaked audio tape exposing a famous politician. Nor does it come from the mouth of a villain from a blockbuster movie.

Actually, the words blare through the speakers of my car, finding their way out of my mouth, as I sing along with Kanye West. I try to dodge the judgemental looks that my dad gives me from the driver’s seat as I nod my head to the lyrics about “bitches” and “hoes.”  

Sure, my dad seems kind of bummed that the daughter he’s raised to be strong and independent is willingly degrading herself right in front of him, but hey! “Ni**as in Paris” won a Grammy for “Best Rap Song” in 2013. Plus, the beat is fire.

At least that was my lame excuse after my disturbed dad asked me to skip to the next song. What came on next? Another symphony of misogyny. Then another. And another. Finally, realizing that not a single song on my Spotify playlist aligned with my basic morals, I accepted defeat and switched to the radio.

2017 has truly been the year of women. After a controversial election and certain leaked audio tapes, hundreds of thousands of females banded together and courageously marched for equal rights and respect.

I consider myself a feminist. I firmly believe that misogyny has no place in our world today. Yet I pay $1.29 for song after song that betray these values, and keep sexism alive. And I’m sure you do too.

As I went through my playlist with new, aware ears, I was amazed at what I heard. Terms like “bitch” and “ho” weren’t just sprinkled in the lyrics. It seemed like every line ended with a jab at women. Our favorite rap songs are built on a solid foundation of blatant, disgusting misogyny. And don’t get me started on the music videos.

Half naked women prancing around–a woman’s only purpose in rap music videos is to make the the rappers singing look desirable and powerful.

There are exceptions. I’m not saying all rappers are bad. Chance the Rapper writes songs with inspiring messages. Tupac Shakur was known for praising women in his verses.

And, of course, there are female rappers (Nicki Minaj, Missy Elliott) that have been reshaping the industry with their girl power lyrics for years. But no matter how strong their voices may be, it’s hard for them not to get drowned out by their ubiquitous male counterparts.

So now I raise the question: How are we letting this slide?

Today, more than ever, attention is being brought to the unspoken gender hierarchy that plagues our society. Protests are becoming more and more frequent. We are calling people out on unfair treatment. And while all of these great efforts are going on, we are simultaneously fueling the misogyny. Rap has never been more popular and glorified than it is today.

It would be one thing if we were just ignoring the misogyny. But as a society, we are praising these artists. Decorating them with music awards. Paying for their albums and concerts. Kanye West made $1 million dollars in 48 hours off of his album “The Life of Pablo.” And trust me, those songs aren’t filled with uplifting respectful odes to women. He literally credits himself for Taylor Swift’s career in that album.  He raps about women using babies as “meal tickets.”

Something just isn’t right. We protest and demand to be respected, but we can sing along to lyrics like, “Before that girl says anything, she’s gotta say please,” with enthusiasm. Why are we letting these rappers off the hook?

Having realized the unfortunate irony of it all, I vowed never to listen to a rap song again. But it’s hard. I lasted a good 45 minutes on my acoustic coffeehouse playlist before I came to the conclusion that purging all my favorite songs from my life wasn’t going to remedy my confliction.

I guess the only thing you can do is acknowledge the misogyny and be aware that a woman’s identity is not confined to the words “bitch” and “ho.” And rummaging through your parents’ vinyls and playing a Frank Sinatra record every now and then couldn’t hurt.