I would estimate that I’ve heard the word “like” about three million times in my seventeen years here on earth. No, my friends aren’t obsessed with similes. They’re using “like” as filler. Rather than punctuating their sentences with “ums” and “uhs,” they opt for “like.”

Certainly teachers dislike “ums” and “uhs,” but they seem to hate “like” with a special passion. I can distinctly recall my eighth grade English teacher handing out a poem mocking the use of the word, which we read aloud as a class before he openly rebuked its use as a filler word. For the most part, students are allowed to “um” and “uh” without question, but the moment they interrupt their speech with a “like,” they lose credibility. We view  the word “like” as a sign of incompetence, particularly when it is used by girls.

But “like” might actually be a more beneficial filler word than many. As opposed to “um” and “uh,” “like” serves as a discourse marker: a particular type of filler word that sends purposeful signals to the listener. Social and Personality PhD Psychologist Yi-Tai Seih noted in his study at the University of Texas that people who used discourse markers are more conscientious than other speakers.

In other words, sentences punctuated with “like” are more thought-out than their um-ed and uh-ed counterparts.

Despite this, girls continue to receive flack for their use of the word. We caricaturize the way dumb girls talk by modeling sentences that overflow with the word. We pair phases such as “Like and then I was like, omg, like, you know?” with blonde wigs and vocal fry, a guttural sound at the back of our throats, other hallmarks of female idiocy.

Perhaps it is not that “like” actually signals inferiority, but rather that the people who use the word are generally thought of as inferior.

This of course leads to a question: “Why would girls be more thoughtful of their words?” It probably isn’t that girls are just inherently more reflective or that their ideas simply take longer to say.

It’s that girls are forced to qualify their words in order to be heard. We don’t listen to girls when they come on headstrong. We tell them they’re being “bitchy,” or “aggressive.” We want them to soften their language, to speak without confidence.

It’s the same reason that girls often start their sentences with phrases like “I think” or “In my opinion.” Girls aren’t allowed to express their opinions straight-on. If they do, we cast them aside because they’re too “emotionally charged” to be valid.

We need to rethink why we hate the word “like.” If you just really hate the letter “k”, I get it. But if you scorn people who use the word “like” because you think they sound dumb, it’s possible that you have fallen prey to society’s mistrust of girls.