I’m writing this article weeks past its deadline. As I write this I am trying to think of excuses to put it off until tomorrow. This is unusual for me. Last year I got every article in on time. Why is this happening now?

I’m not too busy to find the time to write. I sleep in till noon on days that I don’t have early morning soccer practice. I have hours of free time. Why don’t I spend any of that time writing this? I honestly have no idea. I think it’s a combination of things.

Summer is nearing its end. I only have a week or two left until school starts and it kills me. The closer I get to the start of school, the more I try to distance myself from it. I try to not think about the long junior year ahead of me, out of fear of feeling depressed. I try to pretend like summer is never going to end. Writing this article makes me feel more near the school year than I have all summer, and I think that is why I kept pushing it back. Writing this article is painful in a way. It’s the most work I have done in months. All I want to do right now is eat and take a nap.

But in the past I remember how eager I was for the school year to begin. One of my favorite parts of the summer was getting my class list. I would ask my parents multiple times each day if the list had arrived yet. I can also remember how excited I was to see all my friends in school for the first time since the end of the previous school year. The end of summer used to be an exhilarating time for me, but now it feels like the beginning of a 9 month prison sentence.

During the summer I am tremendously lazy—as I’m sure you can tell by my references to waking up at noon and wanting to take a nap only hours later. As I get deeper into summer, I become increasingly inactive. Part of the reason I missed the three deadlines for this article is because I was too lazy to check my email.

I am trying to remember how I did it in past years. How I found the energy to do anything in these last weeks of summer. When I was younger, I was excited for the school year,. Now I dread it. What changed?

The easy answer is that school became less exciting and enjoyable, but I know lots of people who still enjoy the school year. Maybe it’s my outlook that has changed. I used to think about all the exciting new things that would come out of the school year: all the time I would spend with my friends, and all the intriguing new things I would learn. Now I only look for the negatives, like how hard this year will be. How I’m going to have to wake up earlier than noon. How I’m going to have to find a way to balance school, social life, ACT prep, and soccer. Maybe if I look for the positives, I will be able to find the strength to enter this school year with a positive attitude, along with the strength to finish this article.

I’m not sure if columns need a takeaway, but I’ll give you one anyway. If you only learn one thing from this article—other than the fact that I’m a lazy person, — learn to be optimistic. Look for the good things that lie ahead. If you manage to do this, I promise you the next 9 months before summer might go by a bit quicker. And who knows, you might actually enjoy them.