Every year each grade in the Upper school receives the same speech from college counseling right around the time the air gets colder, lights are strung around houses, and decision letters arrive at the doors of high school seniors all over the country.

Head of College Counseling Susan Weingartner always tells the freshmen, sophomores, and juniors to be cautious of the seniors during this time. She says that they should be conscientious to the students who are hearing back from schools and no one should judge the reasons as to why someone gets in or doesn’t.

This is sound advice, but it isn’t always put in practice by the Upper School. For years, students have been whispering about their older counterparts as they watch some triumph in success and others feel as though they have failed. Not getting into college is hard enough, but the added stress and pressure from your community makes it that much worse.

The truth is the college admission process is a crapshoot. Rarely someone will solely get in because of their identity, background, connection of some sort, or that a family member donated a lump sum of money. It’s true that these can often factor into someone’s admission, but is by no means the only reason “Blank” University/College granted this student a spot at their school.

Yet, students seem to only refer to the reasons when talking about whether or not a senior has gotten into a school.

Why do we do this? It’s not nice or supportive, and it certainly does not keep in tune with our school’s mission. I am sure that there is a laundry list full of reasons, but I don’t want to focus on those. Instead, I want to encourage you all to stop this behavior.

I get it. I was so curious to hear what schools my older peers were going to. I spent so long comparing myself to them. The truth is I didn’t really know their application well enough to determine why they got in or didn’t get into a certain school. The judgments my classmates and I made were wrong.

At a school such as Parker, every student has worked their hardest during these past four years. Any senior will tell you that the “Common App,” standardized testings, and maintaining GPA are draining. There’s a reason as to why junior year has became infamous not only at Parker but all over the country.

As students, we all know how much hard work and effort we put in each day at this school. When the time comes that you find yourself hearing back from colleges, the last thing you would is for someone to discredit all that you have done because of a flawed system.

Let’s focus on the positive. Congratulate someone who gets into a school early and understand that those who didn’t have worked just as hard as those who did. No one can control admissions except for admission counselors.