It may appear that a student is facing disciplinary repercussions if they are spotted entering a counseling office, however for most this is not the case. Anonymous sophomore #1 believes that the stigma surrounding seeing a counselor needs to change. “I definitely think that if a student is seen going into the counselor’s office,” anonymous sophomore #1 said, “they have done something wrong and are facing some kind of repercussions.” The counseling system provides many more services to the upper school other than dealing with students who have violated the school’s conduct.

Discipline is just a small aspect that the multifaceted counseling department offers. “Our primary job is not to take care of people under disciplinary observations,” Dr. Childrey, Upper School Counselor at Parker of 20 years said. “That is five percent of what we do. What we do is that we teach.”

The counseling system at Parker aims to cater to each student individually and ensure that they can thrive in high school. Anonymous sophomore #1 believes that the counseling department is something that should not be treated as something only for more serious circumstances, but that meeting should be available in a more spontaneous and casual form. “If it was possible for me to drop in whenever I want, even if it was a short talk, I think that would be beneficial,” anonymous sophomore #1 said. “Sometimes things pop up throughout the day and I can’t always go to the counselors without an appointment.”

In instances where an incident occurs involving more than one student, the counselors do not solely comfort and console the target, and punish the perpetrator, they use the entire affair as a teaching moment for both parties. “The role of the counseling department is multi-faceted,” Childrey said. We help people get through difficult times. Whether it be the target or the perpetrator, everyone must realize their role in things.”

The best case scenario for the counselors when dealing with conflict is if the two parties involved at least gain a newfound respect and understanding for each other by the end so that they can learn and grow from the experience. For anonymous sophomore #2, the counselors have been enormously helpful in their experiences when involved in a conflict. “By the time the dust had settled on the conflict, I found myself with a newfound friendship,” anonymous sophomore #2 said. “I don’t think that would have been possible if the counselors hadn’t forced us to understand the each other’s viewpoint.”

Even in a circumstance in which a student is in a position where disciplinary action will be used, the counselors aim to turn it into a teaching moment so that the student can come to their own understanding of why what they did was wrong. “Punishment alone can sometimes work but we want people to do the right thing not because they are going to get punished,” Childrey said, “but because I believe that we are always growing and that we need to be educated.”

Counselors should not be confused as people that aim to eradicate all forms of punishment and only utilize the case as an opportunity for learning. “I’m a believer in consequences,” Childrey said. “However consequences are never enough in my opinion. You need understanding, reflection, and empathy. In order to sufficiently reflect, and develop empathy, one of the necessary factors is time.”

In order to set up a meeting with a counselor, there are five main ways that it happens. The first being disciplinary reason, then self-referral, parent calls, being notified by advisors of unusual behavior or underperformance, and if either of the counselors themselves notices a student who could benefit from their services. Scheduling an appointment can be as easy as dropping by and setting up a time, or sending an email. “We typically see kids for one to five sessions, or throughout an entire year,” Childrey said. “Our doors are always open.”