They mess up their d’s with their b’s. They don’t often wipe their noses and you have to casually offer them a tissue, hoping they understand your subtlety. Their things are confined in small open spaces named “cubbies.” They sometimes cling to your legs when you leave them. They wave to you in the hallways, making your day, but will scurry off in the most adorable shyness once you wave back. They are second graders, and they are my little siblings.

Big Brothers and Big Sisters (BBBS) has been a long-standing tradition at Parker. In my fourteen years here, I experienced it all: the candy treats from pre-hyper-allergy-awareness times, geography lessons in fourth grade from a high schooler that did an independent study on the subject, and advice on high school that has actually served me well throughout the years.

So, while lining up in the small gym with our bright purple shirts, hand-in-hand with my best friend, I felt this moment to be a rite of passage: I had transitioned from a kid to someone whom kids can look up to.

I only chose grades in Lower School, hoping to be matched with adorable kids that would look up to me both literally, due to their size, and because they’d see me as a role model. Everyone, however, indicated varying preferences when Upper School Dean of Student Life Christian Bielizna sent us the form to select our little siblings. Some chose grades based on family connections — siblings, cousins, family friends, or the like. Others chose grades because of their traditions, like fifth grade’s annual trip to Lorado Taft.

All Big Brothers and Big Sisters, regardless of the grade they’re assigned to, are expected to uphold certain standards. Bielizna outlined, “Serve as a guide and role model for your littles. Some or all of the littles you work with may see you as inhabiting a space they would like to: intellectually, socially, having freedoms and the power to make meaningful and independent choices; while demonstrating an appreciation of the great things they are accomplishing as you respectfully visit their spaces, take full advantage of this opportunity to share your wisdom with them openly and patiently.”

Reading the description, I felt a great deal of pressure. What if I accidentally slip out the F-word and a kid goes home, tells his mother, and it comes straight back to me? For clarity’s sake, I have never sworn in front of my kids. But, to act as a role model without being completely prepared for the responsibility is a daunting experience, especially since the tradition meant so much to me when I was younger.

There was one point where I was editing my second graders’ writing, and I had to find the fine line between giving them suggestions and doing their work for them. Some mistakes were not ones I’d expect them to know. As a perfectionist wanting the best for the second graders, I felt compelled to fix everything for them. It took some holding back and control to say, “don’t worry about this,” even if I really was worried.

While this pressure can force you into a weird state of being nervous around second graders, it also serves you well: reminding you how to act like a good person as you become a leader.  Big Brothers and Big Sisters exists in the first place not only to foster relationships across our community but to teach us what it means to be a role model and the significance of guiding one another. Or to put it simply, how to be a good person.