“I got it,” I said to my male counterpart as he continued to explain the math problem which I had originally needed help on. “Are you sure?” He responded to me, doubting my ability to grasp the information. Although I had suggested for him to stop explaining the problem to me, he continued to do so as I sat there beginning to question if maybe I actually didn’t “get it” as I had formerly told him.

Even though the gesture of assisting me in understanding how to do this math problem was generous of my classmate, the action began to lose its positive connotation as he continued to over-explain the concepts to me by repeating similar sentences to me over and over again. I had understood his explanation quickly and was confident in my ability to apply it to my work, however he did not think the same. It was rather unnecessary and condescending of him to advance his explanation to the point where he questioned my ability to do basic math. I did not want nor need him to over-explain something to me of which I had a quick grasp of.

This may not seem like a big deal. After all, he was helping me for my benefit and well being. But, this scenario did not happen independently. Everyday I watch male students and teachers over-explain ideas to female students. Additionally, males commonly “help” them better voice their opinion in class by explaining their ideas to others with the hopes of ensuring that everyone can understand what she said. This is mansplaining and from the female perspective, it’s tiring, diminishing, and frustrating.

Mansplaining at Parker is represented in generally two forms: over-explaining to a female and explaining for a female. Even though the occurrence of such instances are frequent, over-explaining is not done by all males and, although less often, happens from females to males, females to females, and males to males as well.

I find it difficult to go through a school day without asking for someone’s help to better my understanding of the concepts I’m learning, so I am constantly asking for help. Whether I approach a teacher or student for help, I overwhelmingly notice that males question my ability to understand their explanation while females mostly believe that I do in fact get what they are saying. The result of this is that males continue to explain things to me after I reassure them that their original explanation was sufficient. In contrast to the majority of doubt I receive from males, I am used to hearing “I know you do. Trust yourself,” from my female teachers and peers as a response to “Oh, I get it!”

From my experience, over-explaining is not simply just continuing to repeat the same ideas but dumbing those ideas down as well. I have noticed males will frequently question a female’s basic abilities before proceeding with their explanation: something I see less of as males speak to males, females speak to females, and females speak to males, although I recognize this may still occur.

In addition to explaining to a female, males will explain for a female. In class, when females ask a question or pose an idea, a male will often restate that comment in another way by rephrasing it to “clarify” what she means. In some cases, clarification to the students and or teacher may be needed in which case someone needs to better explain that idea, but that someone should be the female who originally stated it because she is just as capable of doing so as any male who would do it for her. If she requests help from someone else, it is totally acceptable and wanted for someone to clarify her idea for others, however if she does not, at least I know I can rephrase my comment for myself.

In such cases of mansplaining, I regularly feel overpowered by my male counterparts. Having to constantly voice that you understand something, or are able to clarify your own ideas gets tiring when it becomes a daily routine. I should not have to attend school and feel like I am less capable than others sitting in the same classroom just because our genders differ.

The difficulty of mansplaining is that the actions appear to be kind hearted and in support of females. If someone asks for help and receives this help, what’s the problem? Through all the over-explaining I have begun to question my abilities and have grown increasingly frustrated that people don’t have faith in my academic skills and ways of articulation.

Citizens of the Parker community have a responsibility to build one another up, and in efforts to do so the step must be taken where the difference between being kind and over-explaining is distinguished.