On Wednesday, May 1st as students geared up for Cookies, Middle and Upper School Library Information Specialist and Pride Committee Faculty Advisor Annette Lesak started her morning by manning a small, whiteboard table outside the library. Lesak was in charge of handing bright rainbow wristbands and stark black and red stickers to the 22 students who pledged to go quiet and participate in the Day of Silence.

The Day of Silence is organized nationally by GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network) on April 12th. Lesak describes GLSEN as the “overarching body for GSAs across the country.” However, because April 12th was over Parker’s spring break, Parker could not observe the Day of Silence when it happened nationally.

In 1996, University of Virginia students organized the first ever Day of Silence with 150 participants after doing a class project on non-violent protests, and the movement went nationwide in 1997. GLSEN became the organizational sponsor in 2001 and has organized it since.

“It’s a nationwide movement where students are silent for an entire day, as an act of solidarity,” sophomore and Pride committee head Carter Wagner said. “Standing with and bringing attention to the bullying that is put upon queer students in high school.”

GLSEN’s website cites that “nearly 4 in 5 LGBTQ students don’t see positive LGBTQ representation in their curriculum, nearly 8 in 10 experience verbal harassment, and almost a third miss school for feeling unsafe or uncomfortable.” It’s website encourages K-12 educators and students to register and “take a vow of silence to highlight the silencing and erasure of LGBTQ people at school.

After President Trump’s decision to ban transgender soldiers from the military, senior and Pride committee head Olivia Garg brought proposed to Lesak that the committee organize the day even though they could not observe the national date. “We feel that our Day of Silence is standing in solidarity with both the transgender soldiers who were discriminated against and queer students who are bullied,” Wagner said.
President Trump and the Pentagon officially issued a transgender military ban on April 12. According to the Associated Press, “no one with gender dysphoria who is taking hormones or has transitioned to another gender will be allowed to enlist.”

Senior and Pride committee head Olivia Garg brought the idea to Lesak after the ban was issued that the committee should organize a Day of Silence, as they had the year before, even if it wasn’t during the national event.

From there, the committee sent out a form and information to draft a list of participating students. Lesak worked to communicate with teachers which students were being silent and made sure they understood why students were participating. The event had a quick turnaround, with the form sent out the Monday before the event.

Pride committee held a Day of Silence last school year as well that followed a similar structure but took on the national date. “Bullying of queer students isn’t going to go away in a year,” Wagner said. “It’s something that we want to make annual until this problem is done with.”

Last year, 10 people participated. This year numbers were up to 22, with 18 of these students officially checking-in Wednesday to get their wristbands, stickers, and written explanations of their protest. “People go up to you and go, ‘Carter, why are you being silent?’ and you can’t explain yourself,” Wagner said. “So we have handouts so that everyone who is choosing to participate in the Day of Silence can easily hand those out.”

“When the Day of Silence happens, you are particularly vulnerable because you are inherently unable to respond or defend yourself,” Wagner said. “Last year, there was a lot of tormenting. I find that really ironic, that we’re doing the Day of Silence to stand in solidarity with those who are bullied for being queer and those who participate are often pestered.”

“What’s difficult about it is not everybody does it,” Lesak said. “It puts the students who are participating in sort of an ‘other’ position.”

Like last year, Lesak secured rainbow wristbands, stickers, and handouts for participating students so it was clear who was participating. Lesak noted that money for projects like these either comes out of Pride’s limited budget or if the expense is small enough, taken from the Library’s funds.

Primarily, Lesak made sure teachers were prepared to handle the silent students. “I asked them to be flexible with students who wanted to participate and shared at our faculty meetings,” Lesak said.

“Most of the teachers were aware that it was happening, so they would see the wristband and know that I was participating,” freshmen and Pride committee member Ava Utigard said. No teacher asked me to break the silence or what was going on.” She noted her enjoyment of a poster Lesak coordinated, signed by many Upper School teachers with messages of encouragement for silent students. Teachers also wore “ally” stickers as a visible signs of support.

Students who participate are typically flexible about when they’re silent, according to Wagner. Students may break it for major presentations, tests, or if they need to communicate with a teacher.

“I wanted to be a part of it so I could supported all of these people who feel like they can’t speak up and like they can’t be true to themselves because I just think that’s terrible,” Utigard said. Utigard participated last year as a Middle Schooler and was excited to participate again.

“I try to do everything that I would normally do,” Wagner said, noting he attended all his regular clubs and meetings. “The point is that queer students have been silenced and we go through our days constantly doing regular stuff and often not being able to talk and not being able to express ourselves.”

Utigard noted that she was able to have an easy day, with supportive peers who did not tease her into breaking her silence. “It’s just for one day, so you can manage to not have a conversation for one day,” Utigard said,

“I think overall it’s really important for at least some of us to be thinking about the fact that there are marginalized and oppressed people in our community, not even outside of Parker, in our community,” Lesak said. “I still think it’s important no matter how small it is.”

Wagner is optimistic about the success of the Day of Silence and Pride committee overall, with their other big event of Pride week. “It’s really done a good job of putting the queer community at the forefront of the entire Parker community’s mind,” Wagner said. “All of these things have really enriched the Parker community and it’s been enriched through queer students at Parker who are integral to the structure of the community.”