I’m freaking out right now. It’s Friday, January 17 –– the Friday before finals –– and instead of burying myself in derivatives, solving rocket propulsion problems, or rehearsing for three presentations next week, I’m sitting on a plane, clutching a ticket I booked at the last minute.

To be clear: I’m taking this trip because I want to.  Three of my closest friends whom I had met two summers ago –– one of whom lives in Australia –– planned to meet up in San Francisco over this pre-finals weekend. My initial thought was, “Wow, I’ll be sad to miss that, but I can’t throw off my weekend plans.” When they asked if I could join, I responded with, “I don’t think I’ll be able to make it :(((” without much of a second thought.

I’ve always loved planning and routine, probably a little too much. I plan out almost everything, from the most efficient walking route from point A to point B, to what I’m bringing to school for lunch next week, to the order in which I do homework (Calculus, Physics, Social Entrepreneurship, Spanish, English, History — always). The idea of forfeiting my carefully-thought-out schedule or sacrificing even a minute of precious study time seemed unfathomable. Traveling in any circumstance involves a break in one’s daily rhythm, and I couldn’t quite get my head around taking a spontaneous trip, something I’d never done before –– let alone by myself. As someone who has always struggled to just “go with the flow,” I was daunted by the idea of not having predetermined times to eat, work, study, or exercise, as I usually do.

And then there were finals to worry about. If you know me, you know that I’m a textbook perfectionist, especially when it comes to academics. I wasn’t about to jeopardize my finals preparation, from preparing for presentations to brainstorming questions on New York City’s gun policy to studying related rates of change. 

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I should go. Despite the distance between us, I felt more connected to these friends than I did to most of the people in my life. I was incredibly fortunate to know them –– and to be able to travel to see all three of them in one weekend. When was I going to get this opportunity again?

Furthermore, I realized, every time I allowed myself to sit out of plans that were outside my normal routine because deviating from that routine made me uncomfortable, I was further entrenching myself in my routine, which would, in turn, be harder to break. The only way to reduce the stress I felt from abandoning the planning in which I have always sought comfort was to actively abandon my plans. Granted, this was an extreme situation to start with, but I considered the reward to be higher than anything I could do at home.

Throughout my life, and particularly in recent years, I’ve been told that meticulous planning isn’t always beneficial (“everything in moderation” and the like), but in this specific case, I knew that by sticking religiously to my plans, I would be missing out on something that would bring me joy. So with some encouragement from family and friends, I decided to go. I’m still a little (or a lot) stressed about finals, but I know that I can make time to study. Maintaining friendships –– and more generally, taking advantage of rare opportunities like this one –– is more important to me than staying squarely in my comfort zone.