Ordinarily, eager high school juniors tour numerous colleges in hopes of discovering where they would like to go. These visits allow students to learn what they do and do not like in schools, helping prospective students to find other schools that excite them and figure out where they would like to apply Early Decision. I have been anxiously awaiting the moment when I get to start applying to college since I was six. By sixth grade, I had a list of schools I wanted to visit or apply to. I thought I had everything planned out, but I am now missing some of the most vital aspects of the application process. 

Sitting through long meetings led by the Joan Feitler Director of College Counselling Susan Weingartner or admissions officers, I awaited the moment when I could finally step foot on a real college campus. I planned a spring break full of visits, driving around the east coast with my mom, visiting different campuses everyday. I took the ACT twice, constantly comparing my scores and grades to different college profiles. I spent hours perfecting my list of potential colleges, researching, studying, and working hard in all my classes.

My college process will be remarkably different than I ever could have pictured it. I am a planner, and I have planned this process for years. Now all of my plans are cancelled. Now that I am in quarantine, I can’t visit schools, many of my peers can’t take the standardized tests they’ve studied for for months, and all of us are worried about how the virus will affect our grades, summer programs, and application process. With so many students unable to sit for their ACT or SAT, many schools are going test optional, changing the weight of other application materials, like our grades. On the other hand, so many students applying to schools that require tests are unsure of what the format of the tests will be, since online formats of the ACT and SAT are in the works. With a shift in grading policies, education platforms, curriculum and worldwide lifestyles, my transcript will look differently than I imagined. Summer programs are cancelled or online, the shift in the job market may prevent important internships, sports seasons are cancelled, causing activities lists to look very different as well. Due to the financial crisis, many students won’t apply to as many schools or apply out of state. The college admission process is going to look so different and it’s impossible to balance all of the variables. The hardest part for me is deciding where I want to go without seeing it.

I understand many prospective students are unable to visit campuses and the experience at all is an extreme luxury, but as a compulsive planner I am scared of the unknown. I plan to apply to a school Early Decision, an application style that is binding (meaning if accepted, I must go). Applying Early Decision greatly improves my chances at getting in at some universities, but I have to choose a school. I am currently attempting to decide which school I see myself at the most, where I would then apply Early Decision. I am stuck between two schools: one I have visited and one I have not. Additionally, quarantine has left me with so much time, I find myself obsessing over college research, combing through every corner of the internet. But this research has left me without knowing some of the aspects of a school that matter most to me. 

I can’t google if I will feel a sense of belonging on a campus. I can’t google if people are friendly or wave to passersby.

I have a dilemma: I want to be right, I want everything to go as I had planned. I have to learn to be flexible, a skill that will help me more than a campus visit.