Times are hard. The college process is ramping up and there is no longer an inch of space in my brain for anything other than the words ‘early decision’ and ‘early action.’ In the little free time that I do have, however, I’ve been rewatching the beloved series “New Girl,” streaming on Netflix. Since I don’t have the room in my mind to think critically about anything more nuanced than a TV show right now, I decided to rank the six main characters in order of their personality and how well-developed they were. If anyone reading this edition of Tara’s Takes has not watched it, I recommend it as the best time waster or method of pretending that November 1 deadlines don’t exist out there. Put down the paper and get over to Netflix immediately! It’s full of hilarious plotlines, absolute stupidity, and loveable characters. For those readers who have watched it, read on to see who my favorite characters are. 

#6 Coach

Coach appeared on the pilot as part of the main cast, but he was written off almost immediately. He eventually returned for about a season and a half and provided a good deal of laughs with his inability to process emotions. Unfortunately, his inconsistency on the show made it hard to understand the character, which is why I’ve put him in last place. 

#5 Cece

Cece was the dullest character on the show. She didn’t have any defining quirks that made her loveable or noticeable, and she didn’t grow much as a person over the course of the show. Other than choosing to work at the bar and go back to high school, her biggest character arcs were related to her relationship with Schmidt. That being said, Cece and Winston’s unlikely friendship was one of my favorite aspects of the show, and her relationship with Schmidt was an entertaining rollercoaster that had an extraordinarily satisfying ending. 

#4 Schmidt

Schmidt makes a great character on TV, but I would probably kill him in real life. He’s self-centered, greedy, and controlling. He makes terrible decisions in regards to women – for instance, cheating on Cece, getting caught, and then acting out to sabotage Nick and Jess’s relationship because he couldn’t handle anyone else being happy. Despite being deeply flawed, he’s entertaining. Some of the show’s best arcs and moments revolve around Schmidt, such as his long standing friendship with Nick. Props to him for keeping the entire loft clean and fed all the time! 

Schmidt is compelling, but he’s ultimately a selfish person, which is why he’s landed himself in fourth place. 

#3 Jess

Jess is bubbly, clumsy, and all around pure hearted. The contrast between her innocence and authenticity and the cocky personality of her roommates makes for some loveable scenes and unlikely friendships. I respect that she’s unapologetically herself and she refuses to change for anybody. Her relationship with Nick, who is her complete opposite, was easily one of the best parts of the show. The only reason I put her in third place was that her constant peppiness can be a bit grating. 

#2 Nick 

Nick Miller progressed the best out of all the characters. He started out as a lazy, unambitious, bitter man who was planning to spend the rest of his life as a bartender because he had no idea what to do with his life. By the end of the show he was a successful mystery writer who was looking ahead to a long life with Jess. Plus, he’s always had that ‘I can fix him’ aura that makes him oddly appealing to women (Tess Wayland, I’m looking at you). A solid second place pick who finally learned how to do taxes.

#1 Winston

Winston was my all time favorite character for his strangeness. From his codependent relationship with his cat Ferguson to the many, many odd careers he jumped between, Winston has always been delightfully unpredictable. Not to mention, his mischievous personality coupled with the fact that he was atrocious at pranks made for the most ridiculous episodes, like unleashing a porcupine at Cece’s first wedding or faking an eviction notice. 

He was also well-developed, going from a flaky guy who was unable to hold down a job or a girlfriend to a happily married and successful cop, all while maintaining the quirks that made him the most unique character on the show. Congrats on first place, Bishop – I hope you’re somewhere out there wearing outrageously mismatched prints.