On the corner of Clark and Webster, old home to beloved Cosí, a flatbread sandwich and salad joint, a vacant space has sat for almost two years. Parker’s very own Pat McHale, physical education teacher, has stepped up to the plate and kick-started his very own DIY Bloody Mary Bar.

        McHale loves Bloody Marys. In fact, he has even conducted his very own brain study and proven that the drink has a tendency to increase performance, which is why he logically suggested students be served them during the week of finals.

        “I hated leaving work each day and seeing an empty building sitting across the street from Parker,” McHale said. “I wanted to add something lively to my neighborhood, you know, contribute to my community.”

        McHale decided to name the bar “The Model Bar” in order to pay tribute to Francis Parker’s essay “Democracy is Education.” When asked about the design of the bar, McHale says he wants to have a surplus of fix-ins that the customers would add themselves, since Parker students are so self-advocating.

        In fact, McHale has decided to hire Parker’s head chef, Zach Mannes, to man the bar. “I plan on serving your average bacon, pepper, cheddar cheese, and celery,” Mannes said. “However, I also plan on serving my infamous bagels and potatoes as well. I want to give it a similar feel to Parker’s cafeteria, without the stingy portions of course.”       

After downing five Bloody Marys and acing her Nash quiz, Yasmine Shafaie has started her very own Power of the Bloody Mary Club.  “It’s amazing!”  Shafaie said, “I really suggest students take them before the ACT!”

        In fact, Nurse Ann has taken matters into her own hands and is now writing Bloody Mary prescriptions to students who claim they are anxious.

        “It truly is an incredible sight to see out my office window!” Dean of Students Ed Amos said. “I’d show students, but my door is locked.”

        Overall the Parker community is incredibly proud of their very own Pat McHale for following his dream to incorporate Bloody Marys into the progressive education system.