Editor’s Note: The piece below was published in The Weekly’s 2018 “Joke Issue.” All content, quotations, and other editorializations are entirely fictitious. 

On April 1, at 7pm, “Weekly” podcaster and senior Noah Jennings will premiere his new Sunday night weekly podcast, “The Sit Down With Noah Jennings,” on National Public Radio (NPR). Jennings’ podcast is set to include a variety of sit downs with various celebrities whose identities he refused to disclose, as Jennings wants to “keep it a surprise.”

Additionally, Jennings’ will also discuss his journey as an aspiring rapper on Soundcloud, and his feuds with various Soundcloud rappers like Lil Cuda (sophomore Christian Michaels), alex44zaza (sophomore Alex Nikolaev), and Jalen Benjamin.

Jennings has a Soundcloud called “Free Noah” on which he posts new songs every so often. His new song, “Shine,” is out right now and Jennings asks for everyone to “give it a plug.” Jennings hopes his new podcast on NPR will give his fans a chance to engage with him more. “With 91 followers on Soundcloud, I’m exciting to give my fans a sense of the real me,” Jennings said. “You know, a chance to get to know the real Free Noah.”

At the start of his senior year, Jennings took on the new-to-“The Weekly” role of podcast director. Starting in this role in September, Jennings has since released three podcasts this year, but since getting into college at Wake Forest University he has released no more. “Best Food Near School, Non-Chain,” “Senior Seminar,” and “Let’s Talk Walkout” were his best, and only greatest hits.

Although these were the only three podcasts Jennings has done, they caught the ear of NPR’s CEO Jarl Mohn. Mohn was on “The Parker Weekly website, as one always is, when he came across the podcast section. “I was shocked when I found out they had podcasts, too,” Mohn said. “I mean, from in-and-outs to Parker memes to opinion pieces on independent studies, I was like, ‘Wow, how much better can this get!”

But Mohn was particularly impressed with Jennings’ podcast. “I clicked on the one about non-chain restaurant Lincoln Park recommendations, since I always find myself in Lincoln Park looking for a non-chain restaurant,” Mohn said. “I was pleasantly surprised by Jennings’ playful opening music, and his vocal range. Not to mention his recommendations were spot on!”

After that, Mohn knew he need Jennings on his team. He called Parker and asked for “Free Noah” after looking up Jennings online. Jennings knew right away that this was the opportunity for him. “I had to take this chance,” Jennings said. “Now, I finally have a platform to talk about what I want to talk about, and all the things that I find important to me.”

Many “Parker Weekly” staff are incredibly proud of Jennings accomplishment. “This is a great opportunity for him,” editor in chief Jessi Lieb said. “I cannot wait to see what he does next!”

But with his new success, also came jealousy, specifically from other podcasters. “I cannot believe NPR chose him!” junior Olivia Garg said. “A podcast on senior seminar? Come on! I had Gigi Pritzker on my show! A Pritzker! I know I’m in Leadville, Colorado right now, but this is ridiculous!”

The other political podcaster, junior Sammy Kagan, noted what this means for NPR. “I’m not upset at all that they chose Jennings over mine,” Kagan said. “NPR has been on a decline for a while. This is only another example of my point.”

The third podcaster, junior Chad White, did not respond to a request for an interview.