Editor’s Note: Despite appearing in The Weekly’s “Joke Issue,” the events detailed in this article are entirely truthful and did, in fact, occur. The below content does not reflect the typical journalistic standards of The Weekly, but are suitable for our “Joke Issue.”

It was March 1, 2018 in Mexico City. Model United Nations time.

After a lengthy opening ceremony, a group of Parker delegates decided to have a late night swim before their midnight curfew. “What are you wearing?!” senior Model UN Capitan Olivia Levine said as she approached fellow seniors, Maya Sanghvi and Jessi Lieb waiting for the elevator on the third floor of the Hilton Garden Inn, Mexico City. It was about 10:30 pm, when Sanghvi and Lieb left their rooms in something other than western business attire.

Sanghvi opted for a bikini, covered by only her sport jacket. No shoes. Lieb chose a black one piece bathing suit and flip flops.

The two had discussed the necessity of clothing for their trip to the pool. “Well we thought it was just going to be like three minutes,” Sanghvi said, “and we didn’t expect to see anyone.” Sanghvi was wrong. The girls waited in the elevator bay for a few minutes before the glass door opened, and a crowded elevator filled with MIMUN delegates burst into laughter. Lieb ran to a corner, cleary embarrassed. An empty elevator arrived and took the Lieb and Sanghvi down to the floor on which the pool was located.

However, it was not just the floor of the pool. It was also the floor that held hundreds of delegates still waiting to get back to their rooms following the opening ceremonies, all still dressed in western business attire. Sanghvi and Lieb turned increasingly red as they maneuvered their way through the crowd of entertained, international MUNners taking pictures of the Parker seniors.

“Where are you going?” asked the Head Sergeant in Arms and scary green-shirt lady, a woman not especially liked by the Parker students. Junior Galia Newberger said, “I am going to pull the fire alarm if she says another word.” Junior Charlie Moog was caught trying to escape the banquet and was forced to lie to her about his school to protect himself from being verbally attacked. Moog said, “I told her I went to Mexicana Americana.”

The students frantically looked at each other terrified and filled with hatred for scary green-shirt lady. “Oh we were hoping to make it to the pool,” senior and Model UN Captain Olivia Levine said. “No, no, no, curfew is in just a couple minutes,” said scary green shirt lady. The girls turned around and erupted into laughter and video taking. Students from Mexico, Trinidad and Tobago, and New Jersey all sent stares the way of Sanghvi and Lieb as they joined the long line of students waiting for two broken elevators.

A few minutes of humiliation came to an end when Political Officer Olivia Draper from UCLA offered to escort the Parker students to the pool. At first the students pushed back, as they didn’t want any more complications with scary green shirt lady, but scary green shirt lady soon rushed over to assure them, she had decided it was in everyone’s best interest. “You know the social norms are different here,” she said. “We respect modesty. Next time you need to cover up. Oh my, put some shoes on!”

The dark pool was what the girls thought was a relaxing end to the night, until they realized they once again would have to get themselves upstairs.

“Olivia, Lindsay, give us either your pants or your shirt so we each have one item of clothing,” said Sanghvi. “This is your fault,” Levine said. “Suffer. You can just wear the towels to your room,” said Liv from UCLA. The girls agreed to a more modest look with blue and white striped towels around their waists and left the pool deck.