Editor’s Note: The piece below was published in The Weekly’s 2018 “Joke Issue.” All content, quotations, and other editorializations are entirely fictitious. 

Signs. Marching. A full day of classes–gone. This was no March for Our Lives, but a full-fledged teacher walkout in which the faculty voiced their demand for extended time.

“If the students get it,” Upper School history teacher Andy Bigelow said, “so should we.”

On March 16, teachers took to the hallway during the Student Government period. Students returned to their classes for A period to find their teachers not sitting behind their desks or preparing notes for the class, but taking action on an issue they support.

A leader of the protests, Upper School math teacher Victoria Lee, rallied the teachers for this cause. “Teachers all learn differently too,” she said. “I thought it was about time that the faculty was given the recognition for our hard work.”

Lee has been calling for action for the past five years, but it took time to convince the entire faculty. “At first I was wary,” Upper School English teacher Mike Mahany said. “After numerous speeches and meetings that Ms. Lee gave, I was convinced. People have no idea how long it takes to read and grade papers.”

Upper School Learning Resources teacher Bridget Walsh, who was still finishing up with the students in her room that were studying during Student Government, was overwhelmed by the protests. “There was a line wrapping around the entire fourth floor from my room,” Walsh said. “Every teacher was trying to sign up for testing.”

While the majority of teachers joined the call for action, others chose not to participate. “Personally, I don’t need it,” Upper School math teacher and fast-grader Chris Riff said. “But if the teachers don’t have the proper paperwork, they shouldn’t get extended time.”

Some students sympathized with the teachers’ demands. Junior Jacob Levy said, “Support in the workplace for all learning and grading styles is really important.”

The administration has even extended their support. “It took some time to get adjusted to the Upper School,” Upper School division head Justin Brandon said. “Being able to work at one’s own pace is important.”

Teachers have planned a second rally in case the school does not implement serious policy changes. “We hope our needs will be met quickly and smoothly,” Lee said. “But I can’t see a situation where the school would not support us.”