Editor’s Note: The piece below was published in The Weekly’s 2019 “Joke Issue.” All content, quotations, and other features are entirely fictitious. 

Congresswoman and Parker alum Ayanna Pressley of the Massachusetts 7th district made her first speech on the floor of the United States House of Representatives on Friday, March 29.

During her campaign last fall, Congresswoman Pressley talked at a great extent about the division within government. She referenced hostility between political parties and a constant fight for power with players who were willing to go to the extreme for just a seat at the table. Pressley expressed her concern with President Trump and his administration’s use of executive power and referenced the court systems lack of political independence. So, delivering on her campaign promise, Pressley made her attempt to bring her fellow members of the federal government closer together.

“Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body,” said Pressley, opening with a line from Corinthians. She proceeded to recite the entire verse from the bible. Throughout her speech congressmen and women sitting in the chamber had puzzled looks on their faces. Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said, “I don’t really understand what Ayanna was trying to accomplish, she would have had a much greater impact if she had just tweeted that speech,”.

Congressman, and Chair of the House Intelligence committee, Adam Schiff said, “I have so much respect for Congresswoman Pressley and I am so impressed with what she has done so far but I could use that 20 minutes back to question Roger Stone,”.

Although Pressley’s democratic colleagues weren’t thrilled by her speech, her republican friends felt differently. Republican minority whip Congressman Steve Scalise praised Pressley, “We need more bible verses on the house floor, I commend what she did today.” Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham and Chuck Grassley, all republican senators heard about the speech and praised it when questioned by press walking through the capitol Friday.

As for Pressley, she followed her speech with a press conference just outside her office in the Longworth House Building. “This piece has always spoken to me, not only members of the house, but all members of the federal government have a piece of the house,” she continued, “For the government to work, for it to be successful for all Americans, it must function as an embryonic democracy,”. This left the world confused, but later in the week, Pressley alluded to her source of inspiration for her recent comments.

While on the Rachel Maddow Show Monday, in response to being questioned on her recent vague messaging she said. “When I was in high school, the core values of all pieces of a community making up a whole body and the idea of an embryonic democracy were preached.  the phrase as when googled it is that first page that turns up. These themes I have carried my whole life and I truly believe are needed in the United States Congress today.

What is an embryonic democracy? Pressley admitted on the Rachel Maddow show that she didn’t know what an “embryonic democracy” was so she did some research. Embryonic democracy most nearly means a democracy with room for further growth. To translate to the Constitution. “In order to form a more perfect union.” In recent years this has been a popular sentiment, as former President Barack Obama also called back to it. Pressley is a new generation, a new graduating class of high school students and a new class of freshman congress people, she and her peers will power the future, driven by the strong passionate words of Francis W. Parker School where it all began for congresswoman Pressley.

Pressley may have started a conversation, but it is still unclear if the speech helped or hindered the United States embryonic democracy.