Administration has given the green light to college counseling to begin the process with students in fifth-grade. The decision was made in early March after Parker received pressure from lower-school parents to give children a head start on college.

“Ten is the perfect age to start getting kids excited about college,” Susan Weingartner said. Counselors will now be visiting fifth–grade classrooms once a week to have the college discussions. These discussions takes place each Thursday afternoon, between Arts & Crafts, and Storytime.

“It’s time for these kids to drop the Pokemon cards and start getting serious about their life after high school,” fifth-grade parent Tammy Fritz said. Grade point average, summer internships, and college visits are among the topics to be discussed with the ten year olds. “It’s hard to move these kids away from their ridiculous dreams of being astronauts or firemen, but we’ll get there,” Fritz said.

The students were asked to write down their top college choices and safety schools. Yale and Colombia were the most popular choices for “ideal college,” while Tulane was the most popular safety school. The college office plans on changing the fifth-grade retreat from the traditional Lorado Taft trip to college visits.

Cheating has become more prevalent in fifth-grade classes since the college conversations. “Kids have been inflating their reading log hours in an effort to seem more appealing to colleges,” said fifth–grade teacher Scott Turner said. “It’s very disturbing.”

The lower school administration has also experienced a push for academic tracking by some fifth–grade parents. “I think separating classes based on level of drawing skills would be beneficial,” fifth–grade parent Andrew Novak said. “Ideally, I’d like my fifth–grade son to start Physics by the summer.”

“Now’s the time to get these children thinking about a decision they’ll make eight years down the road,” Weingartner said,

The office reports concerns on childrens’ email addresses, stating most are “not college appropriate.”

“I understand the temptation for many a fourth–grader,” Rebekah Lauer said, “but making your email address ‘boogerboy123’ in fifth–grade is quite immature.”

The counselors’ efforts to cover the more exciting areas of colleges have received some criticism from fifth-grade teachers.

“I go to the bathroom for five minutes and when I come back they’re showing the kids these pictures of frat parties and telling them which campuses have the most ‘Greek life,’” said fifth-grade teacher Mary Hamilton. The fifth–grade has begun attending student government and applying for cabinet positions to beef up their resumes.